Day 105 Ruminating And Writing

Mortal

She was the only mortal amongst the ancients. She was a blip in the system. They had first noticed that she was able to die when she had gotten sick as a baby. Something no one does nowadays. They grew to a certain age and remained unchanged, unaffected by time, diseases, and harm. But not her. She could die. At first, she had been a curiosity. People had come all over the world to witness the miracle baby that was born with a defect that made her susceptible to death. But the curiosity had faded, and she wasn’t proving a thesis or concept to anything. She was only a blip. That was what they had written about her, using that exact word. She had considered changing her name to something like Blip or Embarrassment. That was what she was to her parents and their new immortal child. They had been granted permission to have another one due to her condition.

The little angel boy was all they had wanted. The apple to their eye. Their salvation. All she saw was a devil, a golden-haired boy who knew nothing of life. Pain was there for a reason. Sorrow was accompanied by life. Everything ended. That was what they didn’t understand. They lived their lives like nothing could affect them. But she was sure something could. Her body was proof of that.

Dimension

The hike in the woods was turning out to be a perfect way to get her mind off the test coming up Monday. She had been reading nonstop, doing her best to ace the test. It would determine her entire future. She was sure she was ready, and now she had to calm herself down so that she didn’t ruin her chances. She stepped over the brook, trying to avoid the little pebbles, but the stone she stepped on was wet and she slipped off it. The fall to the brook took eternity as if time suddenly sped by her ever so slowly. When she crashed on the ground, the brook was gone, and there was a stone walkway under her. Then there was a hiss-like scream above her.

She lifted her gaze and saw a giant-eyed creature with pointy ears and a tail. A cat that looked like it had stretched into a human form and was dressed as such. It hissed at her again, and she screamed. Suddenly, she was surrounded by similar creatures.

No Personal Pronouns

The cat lay on the desk, viewed by spectators. All wanted to see what the little devil would do. Would there be mayhem, would there be cuddles? Unknown was the mind of the sleeping cat. Maybe the dreams were about love and trust. If there could be such things in a cat’s mind. Maybe the spectators put there more than there was, or not enough to truly understand what existence was meant to mean. All understandable from the limited perspective.

The Prompts are from the book A Year of Creative Writing Prompts.

A huge sigh. I feel so disappointed in myself that I didn’t write yesterday. I skipped writing my blog and didn’t edit my book. It has been hard to accept those days when I don’t manage to push myself to write. It still feels like there is something to learn here about forgiveness, understanding, and kindness towards oneself. But I was taught and I live in a world where self-reliance, constantly pushing oneself towards goals, and never forgiving oneself are the norm. I write about forgiveness and criticize how our modern lives are constructed through the pursuit of pointless things and the pursuit at all, yet I haven’t internalized my own words. Is this what it means to be human? Ever since I can remember, I have always felt like there’s something wrong about what it means to be human, that something significant is missing, and people are acting odd and silly. I guess I’m still searching for answers to the feeling I have had since I was a kid. I have read countless classics, philosophy books by the great ones, and religious and spiritual texts. I have listened to great scientists and thinkers speak. Yet, I still have a sense that we are missing something major — the seed that would explain all and make sense of being human. All I can do is keep searching for that thing. So, another huge sigh. I have my work cut out for the rest of my existence.

Thank you for reading ❤ And sorry about skipping yesterday. Have an insightful day!