Day 112 Ruminating And Writing

Fleeting

Those fleeting moments of hope
Those thoughts of torment and fear
The never-ending imperfection
The restlessness
Why do you follow me around
Why do you linger as an afterthought
I surrender
I give up
You leave me with no hope

Phone

He ran back to the park, hoping that his phone was still there. He couldn’t understand how he could have been so careless to leave it there on the bench just like that. It had his whole life in there, and someone could just take it. He rushed to the bench and sighed in relief to find the phone still there.

The phone was unharmed. It was still in its normal mode. No one had scrambled it locked. He placed it in his pocket and left home. At home, the phone alarm went off. There was a message on his screen reminding him to help find MR. Mitten.

He stared at the text. He hadn’t set the notification there. The phone was still his. He was sure of that.

The alarm went off again. It asked him to step out as soon as the knock came to his door. There was a knock, making him jump and almost drop his phone. He hesitated, but went to the door. There on the doorstep was an envelope marked with his name.

He looked around, and there was no one there, watching him. He took the envelope and opened it. There were instructions to find Mr. Mitten. He was to leave immediately on foot and head down the street.

…

Writing this to its end would take too long. But it is an Easter egg hunt, where he ends up saving the world from immediate doom by showing kindness, curiosity, and openness to the aliens who selected him to test humanity. He will be rewarded with a kitten for all his efforts, Mr. Mitten.

Country

My brain feels too scattered to write his one. It is about the personification of a country.

The Prompts are from the book A Year of Creative Writing Prompts.

The trick is to keep yourself busy from your thoughts and doubts. If there is too much time, too much screen time, the mind seeks trouble. Yet, they tell me that the key is to stay still and rest. I feel like there is this forever loop doom-scrolling inside my head, and I know I’m not the only one. It’s part of human nature. Only when I’m outside in the woods time stands still, and my mind clears.

Today, I feel sluggish and unmotivated to write the prompts. There is this restless energy inside and writing the prompts feels pointless and like a heavy burden. I’m a moody little fucker, and writing these prompts has made that clear. I always thought of myself as more calm and centered, but that’s not the reality. Maybe for the last hundred days, I have been unusually restless, who knows. I don’t. Perhaps it’s the phone and, for me, WhatsApp. Something needs to change. It can’t be that I only can calm my nervous system down when I’m outdoors. That’s not sustainable.

I’m feeling doubtful about the whole writing and publishing thing. I know I need to tell stories, and I love writing and polishing my books, but the publishing part and trying to sell them through Amazon feels burdensome, not to mention wrong. I’m still trying to figure out how to solve that conundrum. There doesn’t seem to be good solutions. Just wrong ones.

Nothing seems to make sense today. Maybe this is not a day for big decisions. Just small ones.

Thank you for reading ❤ I wish you all the clarity for today. Have a lovely one!