Day 15 Writing Short Stories

Perfection

The dance of my fingers, the tapping of my feet, the movement with long, nimble limbs. I care not for the darkness that rises around others. Such are not my concerns. I’m made to obtain, to be perfect. Life is desire. Life is now, and life is to be gained through the actions I have taken. I’m self-made. Master of my fate.

Perfection has to remain. I will never be under pitying looks and laughs. There always will be a chrome finish, lines smoothing my drive, surgery to fix it all. I will never feel the coldness, the emptiness. Money will fix it all—clothe me, represent me.

In the night, whiteness will save me. It will put me to sleep, calm the beat of my heart. Give me the rest I desire. On the mornings, I will down all of them to perform, to suit me up, to be.

Such is my life—a perfect one.

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I’m not sure what to make of this. I got a lyrical, social commentary, rags-to-riches, and first-person POV assignment. It was fun to make this work. I could have gone with a more story-like structure, but I didn’t.

I’m having a slow day today, and I’m going to enjoy that. It’s odd to look at the clock and not have to rush anywhere. Rush, rush, rush. That has been my jam lately. It feels good not to have to do that today. I have chores, but I can do them at my own pace.

I read of a study stating that the depression and anxiety of modern youth is not so much due to smartphones, but more due to the socio-economic situation we have had since the early 2000s. The researchers stated that our societies have become more individualistic and competitive, with self-worth associated with performance and looks, and at the same time people have fewer opportunities to succeed due to economic conditions, leading to an increase in perfectionism. Perfectionism is associated with depression and anxiety, and poorer performance. Those who were kinder to themselves actually performed better than those high on perfectionism.

I see the effects in my line of work. I work with patients who think that there is no point in trying because they are not good right away or they will never be good at all. So, what is the point? Nothing is done just because it is fun. Nothing is done because it is hard. I see patients who think they are not worthy at all because they don’t meet their own or society’s imaginary standards. They measure things with success and admiration. We live in a sad, sad world of numbers, emptiness, and worthlessness. And I think we all fall victim to such thinking. We all try to measure up to some imaginary standards we never chose or wanted. Me too. It’s a constant struggle not to go with such a flow.

Thank you for reading! Have a day of dance, the kind you want to dance ❤